on the other hand, i hope ahma will get well soon. Initially, today was supposed to meet up memories for dinner, in d end, im still worried abt ahma, so i came back home to accompany her instead.

actually im considered quite fortunate already isn't it. As in, since years ago, the friends/classmates i know. Some of them dun even have their grandparents by their side before. Some hadn't even seen them before. Or some, grandparents have left even before they're born.
After hearing, i might wonder at times, im super fortunate. to have my ahma and waipo, ah gong and wai gong wid me until this year, when wai po left. Of cos, i know i could not be more fortunate than having the four of them with me during my last 17plus years, watching me since i was a baby, until now.

My parents' divorce can't be a bad one, definitely. At least, i've become more independent, and stronger, and mature after being through so many things. Of cos, nobody will know how much and what are the things i went through before. I can only say, but nobody can actually feel that experience and emotions. Because it's only me myself who went through all that. Im not saying im the most pitiful girl in this whole world. No, of cos i know that there're a few millions suffering more than me, unable to see,walk,feel,listen,speak, even eat. Sometimes human just can't be contented with what they have and crave for more. Be it Money, position, honour, attention. But no, im contented and relieved that im not that kind of person.

I admit that even though sometimes i still hated them for whatever shit the adults have done, to cause me all the sufferings and pain, but, afterall. When i realised and get back to the fact that what matters is they are living happily right now isn't it. Hai. Say too much also lidat. Now whatever probs they have. i couldn't possibly help also. I can only let them know that, im always there for them, whatever happens.

I admit that before waipo left, i didn't even think of her and waigong every single day. Probably because im staying wid my ahgong ahma. But i did go back frequently once or twice a week to see them. maybe bcos my mum's staying there. So im wondering, without the divorce, if my mum's not staying there, will i even have the chance to see them so frequently?

i still remembered when i was young, mum always went out for mahjong, and just left me with my waigong waipo at grandma house. At tt time, i felt so bored, besides tv, there's nth more i can do at the house. But now, i treasure every moment spent with them, and don't regard it as wasting of time at all.

I don't know why, even though life and death is part and parcel of life, i just couldn't help and take it if my loved ones were to leave me again. How i wish they can enjoy longevity and live till i can take them to tour around the world.

Maybe it's becos of waipo's death, tt made me so afraid of losing anyone..
I jus felt that whatever i can do to make them happy, i will go all out to do it, because they're my family, my loved ones. i can never forget the little playbacks of the happy memories i used to have with all my loved ones.

I don't know why, but 2008 really isn't a good year.
my only wish is tt this freaking 2008 can faster pass and may 2009 be blessed with lots of fortune and happiness.

and i really treasure my family a lot. how i wish i can have endless time to spend every moment wid all of them. but how could i?

U-Know Yunho is [♥]